Talking to Myself

Here is the latest talking heads comic (click to enlarge):

I have to give a shout out to The Swordsman as he inspired this with his google buzz!

You Think You've Had a Bad Day?!?!

My buddy's, dog got neutered.

To make matters worse for the poor guy (the dog, not my buddy), the site of surgery got infected.

Talk about adding insult to injury!

Who's Your Worm Guy?

Fixed the Volume... enjoy!

Signs!

I love signs that have typos, don't make sense, or are just dumb... so I will post them here... I am thinking this will be a Friday event. Lets get to it!

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In the men's room in one of the chapels in San Francisco there was a baby changing table with illustrated instructions. The instructions always raised so many questions in my mind. I often wanted to take a picture, but never had a camera. Luckily, in a rest stop in Idaho, I came across the same set of instructions and can now share the questions with you!

1. Why is baby so huge?
2. Why aren't baby's legs attached? Why doesn't baby's have a pelvic region? (I know this is representative of the diaper, but not effective.)
3. Why don't baby's arms move?
4. Why does baby have to lay down his own towel and dispose of the towel?
5. Why doesn't baby dispose of the diaper?
6. What is the strap fastening baby to? (I know it's to the table, but the table is not in the picture.)
7. If baby is not to be left unattended, where are the adults in the instructions?
8. Again, why is baby SO HUGE?!?!

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I almost feel bad posting stuff from signs at UVU (key word almost...) But there is a pumpkin icluded when you sign up for this pumpkin carving contest!

Ummm, what is "icludes"?

Pirates!!!

Once upon a time I was was a pirate and since it is RCG's 25th birthday and my parent's 26th anniversary, I figured it was time to do a blog about pirates!

Check out this sweet stuff from 868valencia.org (not only are these things hilarious, but they are in headquartered in SF, so that is a triple word score):

Funny Posters

I don't know if 30 is really the new 20, but "Beards are the new black"...

Tell those Liberal cannon control freaks, "Cannons don't sink ships, pirates with cannons sink ships"

In somethings order doesn't matter, but in other things it really really does. Remember "Pillage before plunder, what a blunder. Plunder before pillage, mission fulfillage"

Trinkets

The captions on the website make these little nuggets hilarious!

"Sprinkle a small amount of this substance into the sea. Sometimes they come closer, sometimes they swim away. It's complicated"

"We can't help you with all of your problems. Sleep apnea, nervousness around tall people, transplanted pig intestines, all that stuff is on you. But your sea sickness, we might possibly be able to try and help you with that."

"TESTIMONIAL FROM REAL CUSTOMER: My living situation was really oppressive for a while there. My roommates did this thing where they sort of sucked the fun out of the air and filled it with their weird smells. I would just stay in my bedroom all day and sleep. I used this stuff, and now I'm all good.

"I lived inside of a whale, is the thing. My roommates were like...krill? My bedroom was this recess in the whale's stomach. Alright."

Once again, check this stuff out at 868valencia.org.

(Ok, Ron's B-day and my parents anniversary don't have any thing to do with pirates, but this is this sweet site that I have been meaning to post about and I wanted to give a shout out to mi padres and Ernie... Talk about killing one stone with two birds.)

Never the Worst

Haha, maybe my job is not so bad.

Thanks GNP.

Oat bag... I got my oat bag now...

Nearly everyday at work I have oatmeal for breakfast. Oatmeal is quick, simple, I can eat it while I work, supposedly it is healthy and I am not a big breakfast fan anyhow. The thing that surprises me is that there are quite a few people who do this.

Well, every time I see us all in there making our oats, I think of Jerry Seinfeld and this little bit:

Me Fail English!?! That's Unpossible...

Most people know that my academic career has been... ummm... less than stellar. Well for the last few weeks I have been working with UVU to overcome my past academic shortcomings and get off academic suspension. Well, today, as I was leaving campus, I saw this little gem and thought to myself, "I didn't meet the academic standard here?!?"

Seems to me that it should say either, "Please don't make A trail in the lawn. Thanks" or "Please don't makes trails in the lawn. Thanks"

But hey, I am the one on academic suspension... what do I know?

In any case - I believe this little nugget from Ralphie is applicable

Two quick notes (if you are interested) - First of all - as of today - I am back in school at UVU and intend to do better this time around. Hopefully over the past 6 years I have learned a thing or two about applying myself and meeting deadlines. Also, I really like UVU despite the fact that this my second post about oddities on campus. Like I say, "UVU: Home of the Brave" ;)

Which Restroom?

I was at UVU recently and call me crazy, but it looks like both

the men's and the women's bathrooms have people with skirts!

It is a good thing that I can read....