The Kenny Vernacular (Part 2)

Torques My Grinder - When something "torques my grinder", it makes me angry. Windows Vista torques my grinder... When the Jazz lose my grinder is torqued... Speeding tickets torque my grinder... People who text while they drive, drive in the left lane when they are not passing anyone, and/or drive in my blind spot all torque my grinder...

The Kenny Vernacular (Part 1)

Part of what makes me me is that I have a distinct way of saying things... Here is (the beginning of) a list of terms, phrases, and acronyms you should know...

M.A.S.S. - Mid-Afternoon Sleepy Syndrome - This is that period of time after lunch when it is all you can do to not fall asleep. In a perfect world, we would have a nap time and call it something exciting like, ummm, I don't know... a Siesta? I know, I am being ridiculous... However, M.A.S.S. must never, ever, ever be confused with A.D.S.S...

A.D.S.S. - All-Day Sleepy Syndrome - This describes those days when from the moment you wake up, before you put on your make-up... wait, wait... no that is another thing... This describes those days when you never quite wake up. Well into the evening you feel like a groggy, zombie.

Hotter than a devil's drawers - Not sure exactly where I picked this little number up but I am fairly sure it is circa 2005. Let's just say that I am very warm when I bust this line.

Sweatin' like schvitz - I have been using this one for years. When it is "hotter than a devil's drawers", chances are I am sweatin' schvitz. (I guess a "schvitz" is either a turkish bath-house, or the yiddish word for "sweat")

The Christmas Effect - This is that feeling that you get when something exciting is going to happen. Maybe you ordered a cool new computer online and you have to wait for it to be shipped to you... Or it is the beginning of October and you can feel the Utah Jazz season just around the corner... that is the Christmas effect.

More to come...