Monday, June 28, 2010

If you didn't already know...

So, the other day I was talking to JT (if you are thinking I am meaning Justin Timberlake, you are probably be wrong, but I won't confirm or deny that) and he mentioned that he had given his wife a compliment that wasn't true. To that I responded:
"Most good compliments tend to not be true" -Kenny
(I may have been feeling a little cynical that day)

Anyhow, in that same vein, it has come to my attention that when someone is complaining about how they look, it is not a great idea to say, "You're decent."

Also, never tell a woman, "You look tired"... I will tell you now, that doesn't end well.

Friday, June 25, 2010


Earlier today, for my own purposes, I needed to look up some 4 letter names (no, I am not having a child... much to my mother's dismay). So I googled "4 letter names that start with d" and of course a number of websites featuring baby names came up. One of the websites actually had a list comprised only of 4 letter names - turns out you really can find anything on the internet! - so that was the one I chose.

The webpage had two columns - boy names on the left and girl names on the right. I quickly found what I was looking for and was about to close the window when something caught my eye. What is this? Emma under the boy names?!? And Elie and Ella?

Listen people, I know that we have uni-sex names - Blair, Clair, Lindsay/Lindsey, Casey, Erin/Aaron, Jesse/Jessie, etc - but Emma, Elie, and Ella are simply not boy names. And I cannot be persuaded otherwise. That is like having a woman named Richard.

While we are talking about it, why are lists like this always called something like "Possible Baby Names"? I remember when my mother was pregnant with my youngest brother, The Swordsman (how is that for a name?), she went to the library and got a bunch of "baby name" books and I thought to myself, "what is the difference between a baby name and a grown-up name?" Seems like they should just be "name books".

And don't even get me started on the suggestion of the name "Flem". I feel like no one should ever be named after a substance produced by the body... Just my opinion. Sorry Pooh Williams, I have to draw the line somewhere.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The World is Pavlov and We are His Dog...

This weekend Tap-Tap, Ernie, and I were at Arby's getting a bite to eat. The store wasn't busy - maybe 3 or 4 other people all seated and eating and no one else ordering. I ordered first with out incident and stepped aside to await my food. Ernie was next. As he was in the middle of his order, one of the patrons was leaving Arby's and rung a bell that was post above a sign which reads "Ring if our service was GREAT". Immediately - and as though she had no control over her reaction - the woman taking Ernie's order hollered, "THANK YOU!!!" (but in a tone that was more annoyed than grateful).

Now, I have been to Arby's enough to know that they train their employees to do this - which is fine, but not as a person is in mid-sentence while placing an order. And not shouting right in their face. Poor Ernie was so terrified we had to take him home so he could change his pants.

However, I can't fault the woman - she is a mere pawn in a sick and twisted game which we all fall victim to. In fact, just as I was writing this, my phone vibrated in my pocket notifying me that I had a text message. What did I do? I immediately stopped typing and reached for my phone; not a thought given. Was the message worth the interruption of my train of thought? No, but does that matter? Unfortunately that little device controls me and with every buzz and ring I come running. We have become subject to the dings, bells, and buzzes of the world.

And with that, enjoy this moment of Zen from The Office.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Personality Cookie

On my way back to work from the bank the other day, I needed to grab something quick for lunch. I was at a stop light and noticed Panda Express and realized it had been a while since I had been there. I got my usual half chow mien/half fried rice with sweet & sour pork and orange chicken.

After getting back to the office and eating my lunch, I turned my attention to the fortune cookie. Now, I don't really like eating fortune cookies, but I like reading the fortune and someone told me it was bad luck to read the fortune before first eating the cookie, so I eat them and then read the fortune. My fortune on this day?
"You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music"
Umm, what?

That is in no way, shape, or form a fortune. And nobody can convince me otherwise. Perhaps if it were to have said "You will develop a deep appreciation of the arts and music", that may have been more acceptable, but even then I don't know. Let me give you an example of a good fortune cookie, "You will be successful in your career"; I received that one some time ago from Panda Express also and have it posted on my monitor at work - it is like a little ray of hope, which is what a fortune cookie should be.

It seems that Panda Express is moving away from the "Fortune Cookie" and delving into the less well know world of "Personality/Trait Cookie". Other good examples:
"You are tall"
"You like vegetables"
"You have dark hair"
"You like american-chinese food"
"You are smart"
"You have a keen ability to sense when people are uncomfortable"
"You tend to be late to parties"
"You use Old Spice® deodorant"
Ah, yes. Nothing more refreshing than a good old personality/trait cookie.

BTW, I would say that I do have a healthy appreciation of the arts and music. Good job personality cookie.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Utah, I have failed you...

On June 25, 2009, I finished a new version of the Utah Jazz's old logo. I put a new spin on the old logo and used the newer colors.

I then used it on a hat which I posted on my blog. A few people mentioned that I should have sent it to the Jazz as it looked like they were moving towards changing the logo. Well, I didn't and today I deeply regret that decision as the Jazz unveiled their new logo. Which would you rather have? This (the one the Jazz unveiled) -

Or This (mine)!

Even if you like the darker green - which I kind of do - and the gold (which I am not so sure about), I still think the more modern ball is better as well as keeping the accents of the letters blue rather than green. See:

I will say this, I don't think that they would have used my idea even if I would have sent it in - and where would I have sent it? But, I still wish I would have made the attempt. However, in 5-10 years when they redo it again, Greg Miller should give me a call.

Anyhow, let me know what you think. Vote 1 for the official new Jazz logo (the top one); 2 for my first attempt with the light blue (middle); or 3 for my logo with their colors. Put your vote in the comments!