Saturday, October 31, 2009

Let's talk about Christmas...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, we have just entered into one of the greatest times of the year. We can walk outside and it's not hotter than a devils drawers, College Football, NFL, NBA, Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, Skiing, World Series, sledding, new TV shows... the list goes on (not to mention there have been about a million birthdays over the past 8 weeks). And yes, most importantly, there is Christmas. Christmas is by far my favorite holiday. It is wonderful.

However, some people - I am sure with good intentions - are unknowingly trying to ruin Christmas. I have seen it a million times and it makes me sick every time. The air gets a little crisp, snow begins to fall in the mountains, you see your breath in the air; the natural temptation is to start planning for Christmas (the mother of all holidays (MOAH)). You want to start listening to Christmas music, setup the Christmas tree, put some lights on the house, wear an ugly sweater, put the reindeer antlers on the dog, and sit on some fat guy's lap.

Friends, this is simply not okay... All of those things are fine - in fact, they are necessary (except that sweater...) - but things must be done in proper order.

How can I be scared on Halloween with Christmas music blaring?

How can I stuff my face on Thanksgiving with Santa decorations staring me in the face reminding me of my expanding waistline?

How can the World Series go on with reindeer eating the outfield?

Furthermore, we cannot put up with retail stores putting out their Christmas merchandise so early... It is corporate America trying to ruin everything!

With that in mind, the "Christmas Rule" is as follows:
The Christmas season shall begin on the forth Friday of each November (except in instances where November 1 falls on a Friday; in which case the Christmas season will begin on the fifth Friday of November).

The Christmas season will be over on January 2nd.

There will be no listening to or playing of Christmas music outside of the above mentioned time period.

There will be no decorating for Christmas outside of the above stated time period.

These rules are effective immediately and have been set forth to protect the specialness of Christmas and the honoring of the other sports, holidays, and activities which make this time of year special
Really, the question is, have you ever had really watered down kool-aid? Gross, right? That is what will happen if we continue to let the Christmas season creep... It will become un-special.


  1. too bad Kenny, I listen to Christmas music year round. and I have a Christmas tree up right now (it's a black tree with orange halloween ornaments).

  2. Dear Santa,

    The only thing I want this year is for you to bring Kenny a heart since he apparently doesn't have one. Don't worry Santa, I still love you.

    Your Biggest Believer

  3. well, Kenny, I whole-heartidly agree. I quite like the kool-aid analogy, and very much do agree with your dates and rules. Keep it up!

  4. I had this exact conversation with my roomate not 30 minutes ago. Playing Christmas music too early just makes it less special. Waiting to celebrate Christmas is a way of saving Christmas.

  5. all you don't-start-christmas-too-early-or-overcommercialize-the-season-becasue-it-ruins-the-holiday people are fighting a losing fight. I say give up now, save yourself the stress, and just revel in Thanksgiving. Now there is a holiday that is truly great—it's all about giving thanks and spending time with family, and ya konw what? No one hardly even mentions that holiday. So, there ya go. It's your dream come true. The true holiday spirit isn't ruined by your corporate America.

    You can thank me later.

  6. I know Michelle! Thanksgiving is the bomb and we need to take the time to enjoy it... and be thankful for NFL, NBA, cool weather, skiing, the World Series, etc!